Have you ever written something and when you re-read it think, I did pretty good with this. Here is something I wrote last year about this time after I was finally able to process the findings from the Kamloops Residential School.
The trauma isn't mine but I am not yet fully healed
I never witnessed the same atrocities but I have memories from the hurt
I have heard the words of my Mother, Grandparents, older cousins and Elders and my heart is still wounded
I see the pain in their eyes and hear the ache in their words
Stolen from home, abused, neglected, taught to be ashamed because of their skin color, their language, differences...
Stories of rape, molestation, hunger, disciplined for thoughts and feelings and speaking out against the wrongs
A trauma passed down to children and grandchildren
Broken hearts, broken homes, broken family ties
Children too young to understand, who didn't know how to process the events and actions of so-called caretakers, children who are still trying to block out the pain, children who haven't learned to heal
Our culture was spoken and stories passed down during family time.
Lessons taught during harvest, familial ties kept People together. When children are stolen, who do we share our knowledge with? When Elders are too afraid to speak our languages, how do we remember words that have no english translations? When we are shamed because of our skin color and beliefs in our spiritual ties to the land, how do we continue to teach the future generations about respect and understanding and where we came from?
When our Elders, men and women, become the stereotypes that are portrayed because they try to hide the pain, fear, guilt and hurt, how do our Children learn to be strong and to love themselves and know their worth?
Every hurtful comment about our skin color, our language, our beliefs, our past way of life, our ceremonies, degrades us just a little more. Makes us question our value
This is why words cut deep, this is why there is still hurt and anger, this is why there is an outcry for true reconciliation and for an acknowledgement of the pain that was inflicted. We don't all ask for a handout but we demand equality and fairness in a society that previously wanted us gone from this space we were created to be a part of.
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